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You uncultured swine!

There’s a stillness in the air as I go to the bathroom to have my first wee of the day. As I stand there emptying my bladder I start giggling to myself because of joke that has just popped into my head. I’m still laughing when I return to sitting room. I feel like Sarah should know about it.

Me: “Hey, Sarah!”

She doesn’t hear me because she’s engrossed in a TV show that has teenagers being portrayed by actors who are well into their twenties.

Me: “SARAH!”

Sarah: “What is it?”

Me: “Wanna hear a joke?”

Sarah: “Eh, OK.”

Me: “What is Simon and Garfunkel’s favourite things to buy in the shop?”

Sarah: “I don’t know.”

Me: Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme!”

Sarah: “I don’t get it.”

Me: “Come on!”

This isn’t the first time that the punchline has gone over her head. # BaldManProblems

2

You can’t be doing that!

I was sitting down in the library and needed to check my timetable that I kept in my pocket. Now, rather than standing up to take it out I just sat there with my left hand deep in my pocket making aggravated groans as I rummaged around and tried to reach it. To the people around me I must have looked like I was trying educate my trouser snake in the library but I was really just searching for my timetable.

I think next time I’ll have to stand up to avoid suspicion. And I thought college was all about accepting the differences of others. # BaldManProblems.

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It can’t be. That’s impossible!

I can’t prove it yet but I’m convinced one of my lecturer’s is a Sith Lord. Yesterday, in front of a gathering of students in one of the theatres he said, and I quote: “You’ll grow to hate me but that’s OK because hate makes me stronger.”

Looks like getting a degree has become more treacherous than I had previously imagined. # BaldManProblems

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Just when I thought it was safe

While waiting for my bus there was a protest going on. There was about ten people, that’s a pretty good turn out as far as Irish protests go. They were outside a solicitors office saying that they were victims of the Irish legal system. My bus arrived and I went to sit upstairs. As I went to take my seat there was two young lads with their mouths pressed up to the little windows.

Lad 1: “Ya bunch of cunts!”

Lad 1 sits back down and turns to his mate–“What’s the Irish legal system anyway?”

Lad 2: “I haven’t a clue. I think it’s something to do with bills and stuff.”

Lad 1: “Sounds shite!”

Just went I thought it was safe to use public transport again. # BaldManProblems

2

What have you become?

Andy is playing Battlefield 4 while I comb my beard, I’m just out of the shower and I thoroughly enjoy running a comb through my facial hair when it’s all soft and scented.

Me: “So does Battlefield take wind speed and all that lark in to account when you’re fighting?”

Andy: “Yes, there’s a lot more to it than pointing the gun and just firing.”

Me: “So Call of Duty is more shooty-shooty-bang-bang and Battlefield is more tactical?”

Andy: “That’s right. It always feels like an accomplishment when you kill someone in this one.”

Me: “Jaysus!”

I’m suddenly worried about who I’m living with now. I want to have the Fantasy/Viking Andy back who took great joy in conversing about dragons, fairies, and Celine Dion. My heart won’t go on if he keeps up his blood lusting ways. # BaldManProblems