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Get your finger away from there!

I was situated at the back of bus as I went into college. A young man with a paper sat down beside me a few stops in. He was reading away and I was lost in my own world listening to music. Unbeknownst to me I stared stroking the paper with my index finger. I only realised I was at this when he ruffled his paper and cleared his vocal tract and I was forced to break away from my world, look down, and notice the ink smudge on the tip of my finger. # BaldManTravelProblems

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You uncultured swine!

There’s a stillness in the air as I go to the bathroom to have my first wee of the day. As I stand there emptying my bladder I start giggling to myself because of joke that has just popped into my head. I’m still laughing when I return to sitting room. I feel like Sarah should know about it.

Me: “Hey, Sarah!”

She doesn’t hear me because she’s engrossed in a TV show that has teenagers being portrayed by actors who are well into their twenties.

Me: “SARAH!”

Sarah: “What is it?”

Me: “Wanna hear a joke?”

Sarah: “Eh, OK.”

Me: “What is Simon and Garfunkel’s favourite things to buy in the shop?”

Sarah: “I don’t know.”

Me: Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme!”

Sarah: “I don’t get it.”

Me: “Come on!”

This isn’t the first time that the punchline has gone over her head. # BaldManProblems

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You can’t be doing that!

I was sitting down in the library and needed to check my timetable that I kept in my pocket. Now, rather than standing up to take it out I just sat there with my left hand deep in my pocket making aggravated groans as I rummaged around and tried to reach it. To the people around me I must have looked like I was trying educate my trouser snake in the library but I was really just searching for my timetable.

I think next time I’ll have to stand up to avoid suspicion. And I thought college was all about accepting the differences of others. # BaldManProblems.

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It can’t be. That’s impossible!

I can’t prove it yet but I’m convinced one of my lecturer’s is a Sith Lord. Yesterday, in front of a gathering of students in one of the theatres he said, and I quote: “You’ll grow to hate me but that’s OK because hate makes me stronger.”

Looks like getting a degree has become more treacherous than I had previously imagined. # BaldManProblems