I was sitting as still as a pervert in the bushes while I did a stint on the information desk today. A middle aged woman passed by in lime green trousers and did a double take of me sitting there. This caught my attention so I looked at her and smiled.
She smiled back at me and decided to come over to me.
Perplexed Patricia: “Haha! Oh, my god! I thought you were made of wax, like a wax dummy.”
After this remark she reached for my wrist and gave it a gentle stroke.
Me: “Ah, yeah. I was sitting quite still.”
Perplexed Patricia: “I was in the wax museum recently and was so uneasy being around the dummies; I kept waiting for one of them to jump out at me.”
Me: “Haha! It could happen. I know they do that sometimes in the wax museum in London.”
Perplexed Patricia: “It’s my biggest fear! I keep thinking anyone who sits still will turn and jump at me.”
Me: “You should keep an eye on their chest moving up and down, you know, breathing and all that.”
Perplexed Patricia: “God! I never thought of that! That’s a great idea! Thanks!”
Before she departs she stokes my wrist one last time and walks off with a smile on her face.
I’ve been called many a name but never have I been thought to be a wax dummy. Maybe the fluorescents in work give me a waxy look? # BaldManProblems